10 May 2017

Welcome to the future, dear reader. Music festival urine can now be collected by the tens of thousands of litres and turned into beer.


The new beer is being called “Pisner”, obviously.


When Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick wrote the novel and film for 2001: A Space Odyssey concurrently, they predicted advancements in artificial intelligence, space travel before we had set a single boot on the moon, and iPads before iPads were a thing. What they didn’t predict was that humans would collect 50,000 litres of piss from a Danish field and turn it into beer. (What short sighted fools, amirite.)


Does this mean that humans are – officially – the worst? No. It confirms that there’s a reason humans rule the earth, and not dolphins, chimpanzees or dogs: humans can turn piss from a music festival into beer. Drinkable beer! We are amazing.
The 50,000 litres of human urine, collected from 100,00 music fans attending Roskilde festival, was used to fertilise the fields of malting barley with which the beer is brewed. It’s not that different from regular manure, except that we’re talking about human urine instead, of course. Never forget that human urine is a key component in the process. That’s the point of this news story.



“If it had tasted even a bit like urine, I would put it down, but you don’t even notice,” Anders Sjögren told Billboard, who attended Roskilde in 2015.


Denmark’s agriculture and food council have taken to calling the technique “beercycling,” and they’re hoping that the Pisner catches on as “the ultimate sustainable hipster beer.”


Apparently, the Pisner has a “light and refreshing taste”. Hmm.