31 July 2017

A major character death, a massive battle, not one, but TWO prophecies, and tons of characters being reunited, this was a pretty huge episode for Game Of Thrones’ geeks.


So much happened, we’d better get on with telling you about it…



Tyrion And Jon Are BFFs Again


“The bastard of Winterfell,”  Tyrion says. “The dwarf of Casterly Rock,” replies Jon.


Yep, just like us, when old pals Jon and Tyrion see each other for the first time in ages, they have a bit of bants, a proper catch up, then a dragon suddenly swoops over their head. Okay, maybe that last bit doesn’t happen to us when we meet an old mate, but, whatever, it’s great to see these two reunited. Especially as, later on in the episode, it leads to them trying to outbrood each other.


Melisandre Drops A Bombshell On Varys


Shortly after telling Varys she’s off to Volantis, Melisandre says she’ll come back to Westeros one more time. “I have to die in this strange country, just like you.”


Wait, what? Did she just tell us the identity of two of the major characters who won’t make it to the end of the series? THIS JUST GOT INTERESTING.


Jon Has Finally Met Dany


What a scene this was. It had everything – history, honour and humour. Emilia Clarke played it perfectly, with an initial subtle sprinkling of warmth and amusement mixed in with her usual regal coldness, before she shifted into annoyance with a brilliantly delivered speech.


Kit Harrington was great too, his exasperation with the politics of the situation matched only by anyone who watched Hardhome. Then, Varys scuttled in with news of Euron’s attack on Dany’s allies, and the tension increased even more! We can’t wait to see what happens next with this lot.

Euron’s Back


Speaking of Euron, after a quick glimpse of Theon being rescued (but not by Gendry, boo!) we’re back to King’s Landing, with Euron leading Yara into the city by a leash (what is it with the Greyjoys being treated like dogs by the main villains? First Ramsay made Theon live with his hounds, now Euron’s taking Yara for walkies), before presenting the last remaining Dornish cast members to Cersei to torture, before asking Jaime for sex tips. Good old Euron, minimum screentime, maximum impact.

Cersei’s Cruelty


It seems the Queen’s justice of the title is poetic, with Cersei killing Ellaria Sand’s daughter in the same way she killed Myrcella, with a bit of poison delivered with a kiss. It’s an impressive scene for Lena Heady: basically, one long monologue intercepted occasionally by gagged screams. “You will live to watch your daughter rot,” she tells Ellaria in the scene’s mic drop moment.

Yas! Mark Gatiss!


Cersei and Jaimie get reacquainted (it’s been a while since the last incest scene on this show, so… yay?), before being interrupted by a banker from the Iron Islands – another old face we haven’t seen for ages, Mark Gatiss of Sherlock fame. He’s there to work out who to support in the upcoming war, and Cersei’s promise that “The Lannisters always pay their debts” seems to tide him over, before Cersei makes the potentially fatal mistake of promising they’ll pay them in a couple of weeks, which, considering how much she owes, seems a tiiiiny bit foolhardy. Still, if it means we get more Gatiss, we’re all for it.



Bran’s Home!


Sansa’s in charge in the North, which would be fine if Peter Bae-less wasn’t still lurking around, being a creepy creep. But forget Littlefinger, little Bran (who’s grown up a bit since he was last there – it’s a surprise Sansa recognised him) is back home! When Sansa sees him for the first time, she cries and then so do we. We just wish Jon had been there to be a part of it.


But maybe he’s best off out of it – Bran’s being a BIT weird about everything (what was that wedding dress line all about? SPOILERS, BRAN). But still, it’s good to see the Starks in Winterfell – hurry up and join the party, Arya!

Jorah’s Cured!


We don’t know why Game Of Thrones has a reputation for being a nasty show, it seems pretty lovely to us – what with Jorah’s incurable disease being cured by brilliant Sam, leading to them shaking hands (the significance being Jorah hasn’t been able to touch anyone for ages because grey scale is so contagious) which is a simple, but powerful moment. Then, Sam doesn’t just get in trouble for going against the rules, he’s congratulated. Yes, Game Of Thrones is positive and nice and nothing bad is going to happen anytime soon.


Casterly Rock Has Been Taken!


But, um, it might not matter. Euron’s fleet is destroying the unsullied ships while Greyworm’s busy stepping over dead bodies, and the majority of the Lannister army is marching on Highgarden. Cersei is winning this war, and pretty easily at the moment. We wonder what, if anything, will happen to turn the tide.



Olenna’s Dead!


WE TAKE BACK WHAT WE SAID ABOUT THIS SHOW BEING LOVELY. After a beautiful final scene, in which we hear more about Cersei’s cruel justice, but instead, we see Jaime’s mercy – we get this episode’s final surprise, a deathbed (well, table) confession to Joffrey’s murder by Olenna.


Of course, we all knew she was behind Joff’s death – but it turns out Jaime didn’t, and his reaction (with the Reins Of Castamere playing in the background) was a sight to behold. Much like the rest of this amazing episode.